Projects,  Writing

How to tell if you are a writer

 

Writing by Pedro Simoes 7 via Flickr/Photopin
Writing by Pedro Simoes 7 via Flickr/Photopin
  1. You have at least three library memberships and at least three different piles of books that are overdue and need to be returned.
  2. You get excited at the idea of getting a higher borrowing limit at the library than usual.

    Scissors and pens by Pasha_C via Flickr/Photopin
    Scissors and pens by Pasha_C via Flickr/Photopin
  3. You have a thing bordering on an obsession bordering on a fetish for pens. And your-kind-of-pretty notebooks. You may or may not have amassed a collection of these without quite knowing what you will fill them with it.
  4. You are a member of an online fandom. At least one. You write fanfiction for it. And delight in the response of others along the lines of how good you are because you just GET THE CHARACTERS so well somehow.
  5. You will read anything – ads, receipts, books, you name it. Save for anything by Dan Brown or that 50 Shades thing. See 4. You ALREADY read fanfiction.
  6. You prefer to socialise with X and Y instead of A and B. Because X and Y at least get your jokes. And might be nicer and less drama queen like. Save that they exist on another plane of reality all together – your imagination.
  7. You KNOW what a lot of big words mean but you ALSO know that using the smaller and simple ones works best.
  8. You have no use for bookmarks. Why? Because you devour books at such a rate that a bookmark in a book is nigh useless. They look pretty collected in a jar though. Interior decor for the win.
  9. You have some sort of blog, private or public, real name, alias or anonymous – just to give yourself an outlet to express yourself somehow.
  10. Other people ask you to write things for them – letters, emails, proposals, CVs, you name it. Some even ask your opinion on what sort of text message to send and how to word it.
  11. You have no patience for people who tell you a fact that has no continuing or ongoing story after it. You also have no patience for people who tell you a story where you have already divined what is most likely to have happened. Since this occurs quite frequently, quite un-Sherlock like, you have learnt to shut up, smile and go to your happy place for the duration of said tale-spinning.
  12. You judge potential partners by the variety of what they have read.
  13. There are password protected files and carefully guarded notebooks that you own that will never see the light of day, ever.
  14. You cannot fantasize adequately without a laptop or a pen and a piece of paper because you have to write it all down to fully immerse yourself in it.
  15. You pass by certain places and find yourself trying to picture exactly how someone would hide a body in that location. This sort of thing repeats itself with other morbid occurrences and weird thoughts.
  16. Your first reaction at any event is to absorb anything and everything that is happening because “it might be useful later”. This includes funerals when you observe the corpse not from a contemplative, reflective viewpoint but because you are curious about rigor mortis and embalming.
  17. You find yourself wanting to know the reasoning behind every action a person makes. You eventually learn not to let on to this curiosity.

    Mickey by lisadragon via Flickr/Photopin
    Mickey by lisadragon via Flickr/Photopin
  18. You will end up owning a cat if you don’t already. And it and the laptop will be the first two things you grab as you run out of the house if there is a fire. Not the family. Not the money. Not the photos. Not the important documents. The cat and the laptop.
  19. It annoys you immensely to get to the end of a crime fiction novel and find that the butler did it. You feel cheated no matter how good the story was.

Photo credit: pedrosimoes7 via photopin cc
Photo credit: lisadragon via photopin cc
Photo credit: Pasha_C via photopin cc

Marisa is a globetrotting freelance writer, journalist and editor with cat for hire (her, not the cat). She is usually based in Melbourne but is currently flouncing around in Perth for a week for the Inaugural 2018 KSP - Varuna Foundation Fellowship. She will be at Melbourne's Continuum and online running a Writers' Bloc course in the coming weeks.

4 Comments

Leave a Reply

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.

%d bloggers like this: