IPEd Con 2013,  Projects

Rapping for the 6th IPEd National Editors' Conference, 2013

 

Taking the Mic by Sean Rogers 1 via Flickr

Yes, ok, I know it seems odd. and it must have seemed odd when this status popped up on my Facebook profile the other day.

Apparently editors can rap. Who knew? *is killing herself laughing*

 

It started with past Society of Editors (WA) President, Robin Bower, who is on the conference planning committee, emailing me and one other committee member. Planning the conference happens at high speed so emails are many and fly past in a quick flurry so for convenience we had started referring to each other with initials.

Robin being Robin, first she started with “Hey, M & M” but chocolate wasn’t good enough for her and she suddenly headed an email with “Hey Eminem”. Yeah, hilarious, I know but when you are trying to juggle planning a conference with people pulling out and people jumping back in, you snatch at any piece of humour you can get hold of.

So I decided that no, we could do better than that. And I wrote back to prove it. And to be fair, I thought it would end there so I didn’t put much effort into it.

Yo Robin to the B
I’ve got to tell you, see
That Michele D
Is not rap savvy
A white rapping MC
Is not her cup of tea
And as for me
Stating grammatically
The better rapper is me.

Then Robin sent this back because she had to try to have the last word and it annoyed me because I wanted to laugh but I was in the university library at the time:

LOSE YOURSELF
You better lose yourself in the conference, organising
satirising, hyperbolising the edit
You get a few chances, but take it while it lasts
This conference is once in a lifetime, yo
Her palms are sweaty, knees weak, arms aheavy
from late nights, no sleep, email clutter, all a mutter
She’s nervous, but on the surface she’s calm and ready to rumble
a tumble, a twitter, to face the book, and took
her time when she wrote it down
it came out wrong
this monsoonal song
She’s choking on the words she wants to say
but the crowd loves the talk and the walk and the freelancing rockstar
she is joking now
choking again
back to reality, the quiche and the planning
spamming time
with an esplanade of hope
Easy, yeah

In case you didn’t get it, she is talking about me here. And yes clearly she was on some weird Eminem kick. So to pay her back for putting me in a weird spot in the library, I dashed off another one:

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Nrbc_0Pf10Q]

EDIT

(to the tune of Beastie Boys ‘Intergalactic’)

“Hyphenation or en dash En dash or hyphenation”
“Hyphenation or en dash En dash or hyphenation”
“Hyphenation or en dash En dash or hyphenation”
“Hyphenation or en dash En dash or hyphenation”
“Oxford Comma Oxford Comma”
“Oxford Comma Oxford Comma”
“Oxford Comma Oxford Comma”
“Oxford Comma Oxford Comma”
“Oxford Comma Oxford Comma”
“Oxford Comma Oxford Comma”

Well now don’t you tell me to stet
If it doesn’t make sense in the text
Format your table in context
So it doesn’t differ from the next
Style guide I said
It always brings me back to the last edition
Updating it is always a mission
I check your draft for all omissions
Well editing your work is a feat
People always say my style is neat
Got queries? You’ve got a style sheet
Clients say I always meet
Ethics and style all complete
Coming from IPEd to check my style
Go ahead put my work on trial
Won’t go into editing exile

“Hyphenation or en dash En dash or hyphenation”
“Hyphenation or en dash En dash or hyphenation”

MW and MD that’s our team
Step into the society disrupt the whole scene
When it comes to words well I’m a fiend
I like my sentences snappy and lean
Well I gotta’ keep it going keep it going full steam
With red pen everywhere too nice to be mean
Well on the tough guy style I’m rather keen
To try to fix your English I will plot and scheme
MC Rob B likes to keep it clean clean
In publication going to vent her spleen
Keep on writing cause that’s her dream dream
Got an AE from IPEd for sticking to themes
Now when it comes to envy you all are green
Jealous of our rhymes and our rhyme routine
There is a phrase for it you see
Extensive vocabulary

“Hyphenation or en dash En dash or hyphenation”
“Hyphenation or en dash En dash or hyphenation”
“Hyphenation or en dash En dash or hyphenation”
“Hyphenation or en dash En dash or hyphenation”

Well from the family tree of Queen English words
Converting for foreign lands may seem absurd
But the slang will spread just like a pox
‘Cause the language is live like an electric shock
I am known to do too much
Also known for not saying “Enough!”
Michele D getting business up
Society of Editors (WA) will never let the pace stop
“Stop” “EDIT”
Now when I wrote news my name was M
If my style’s wrong it’s from Great Britain
Step from the table when I start to write
I’m MC Rob B, editor with bite
If you try to knock me you’ll get mocked
I’ll characterise you in my work
Your knees will start shaking and your fingers pop
And all your freelancing it will stop

“Hyphenation or en dash En dash or hyphenation”
“Hyphenation or en dash En dash or hyphenation”
“Hyphenation or en dash En dash or hyphenation”
“Hyphenation or en dash En dash or hyphenation”

“Oxford Comma Oxford Comma”
“Oxford Comma Oxford Comma”
“Oxford Comma Oxford Comma”
“Oxford Comma Oxford Comma”
“Oxford Comma Oxford Comma”
“Oxford Comma Oxford Comma

Then suddenly there was a discussion. Should we have a rap batttle at the conference just for fun? Should we ask editors to submit their lyrics? Should they vote for their favourites? Should we, all deities forbid, have our own version of Gangnam Style? (I’ll have you know the lyrics for this are in my brain as we speak).

So far about four odd members seem to like the idea. We decided to post the rap up online on the site and wait and see if anyone else waded in to the fray.

I hope it makes you laugh at any rate. 🙂

Marisa is a globetrotting freelance writer, journalist and editor with cat for hire (her, not the cat). She is currently based in Melbourne.

2 Comments

  • selenahh

    Marisa, I did laugh. Lots. I so want to see that rap battle in Perth (but I’m cipher-shy, so I’ll just be watching). There was Dusty Springfield in Hobart 2007, so I reckon, by 2013, it’ll definitely be time for something more recent…and why not Beastie Boys and Eminem? Bring it!

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